ASPARAGUSASPARAGUSASPARAGUSNIKKIASPARAGUS

Today we talk about asparagus.

Every year, on the last weekend of April (unless it's Easter weekend), my hometown holds the Stockton Asparagus Festival, also known as The Best of the West Food Fest. But that's not really true. I have had MUCH better food that was no where near the Asparagus Festival. I digress.

This year, the festival was bumped up a week from its normal late-April slot, because apparently people like Jesus more than they like asparagus.* Turns out that this particular weekend, I scheduled to do 4 different things on Saturday, because I guess that's just how organized I am.

First off, my friend asked me to my alma mater's prom, which I really wanted to go to because I was lame and missed my prom. Yeah, I know. I was so excited for it because HELLO, PROM WITH MY FRIENDS, and had my dreams crushed when my mom told me I couldn't go. Apparently, my mom told me I couldn't go because I HAVE TO GET MY FREAKING NOT WISE TEETH YANKED OUT OF MY FREAKING MOUTH ON FREAKING SATURDAY. I don't even know how to deal with this, so I'm not going to talk about it.

Figuring I'd be able to go on Friday to volunteer for my old band director/friend, I planned on spending most of Friday there. OH, BUT HEY, CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I HAVE A FREAKING DENTIST APPOINTMENT SO THE FREAKING DENTIST CAN FREAKING LOOK AT MY FREAKING TEETH SO THAT HE CAN FREAKING YANK THEM THE FREAK OUT ON FREAKING SATURDAY.

Also, Martin Lawrence is in town on Saturday and I was going to go see him with my dad. BUT NO, CAN'T DO THAT. GOTTA GO GET MY FREAKING TEETH YANKED OUT BY THAT FREAKING DENTIST INSTEAD.

OH, AND GET THIS. You know who's playing the festival on Saturday. SMASH MOUTH. FREAKING. SMASH MOUTH. BUT I CAN'T SEE THEM, BECAUSE I'LL BE FREAKING LOOPY ON FREAKING DRUGS FROM GETTING MY FREAKING WISDOM TEETH YANKED OUT INSTEAD. YOU KNOW. JUST FREAKING PAIN.

Now, have a list of all the DELICIOUS things that I wont get to have this weekend:
-Asparagus.
-Deep fried asparagus.
-Asparagus burritos.
-Asparagus pasta.
-Asparagus asparagus.
-ASPARAGUS.

I will, however, get to have asparagus ice cream, because the guy who makes the required 100 POUNDS of it for the event is a family friend and gave us a bunch. So, yum! And before you say "ew," know that it tastes asparagus-y, but is also sweet and actually pretty good. Better than asparagus beer... not that I know what that tastes like. *whistles*

Well, I'm going to go and resume talking to my bffl Nikki, who you should all follow on Twitter and junk. She's @latuacantante17. And awesome. And amazing. And one of my roommates for Leaky Con. And saying stuff in Skype now, so I think she needs my attention.

Ta-ta for now!

More info on the Asparagus Festival:
http://dft.ba/-latuacantante17

*I kid, I kid. Please don't be offended.